freestyle masterpiece theatre

This is the home of Beau and Cameron's freestyles. We cover such topics as the ocean and Alan Greenspan.

And without further ado, here are the freestyles.

---

Cameron:

i'll send you to the bottom of the pyramid, we'll call it the lobby//
waiting for you there in the ancient tombs, the ghost of Hammurabbi//

Beau:

gettin' down to basics king tut style//
these flows will chase you down mile after mile of barren rock passageways//
got rhymes to battle you for days//
when you got beats like this hip-hop pays//

Beau: it's hard to rhyme and shit when you feel all laaaaazy.
Cameron:

setting tones of elliptical egyptian homes//
using geometrical algorithms to build pyramids towers and telephone poles//
my stone-built domes, pre-romanesque in design//
built out out of marble mines, quarried out of the hills, quality is fine//

Beau:

i am too lethargic to continue presently//
my lack of energy//
precludes continuation of this rhyme antic peasantry//

---

Cameron:

excellent mexicans with extraterrestrial estrogen//
battling your guns, jet fighters and missles so you can lose the test again//

Beau:

this is some real life SAT shit//
scoring 800s when we release a platinum hit//
aliens chicks try to stop us//
but our fires stay lit//
fuck the college board//
we send our test scores to montezuma//
aztec gods will pounce you like a puma//
qetzlcoatl and all the rest//
will tell you if you passed the test//

Cameron: oh shit
Cameron: aztec references
Cameron:

the ill aztec references, takin away 'ya dementedness//
i know this song would smell like shit if you would have scented this//
im gettin tribal on ya, my Aztec rhymes are bold//
dont drown in the stories of old, weighed down with pockets filled with gold//

Cameron: gettin historical on 'ya :-) wit legends of Conquistadors yo
Beau: dude exactly
Beau: that's the way to do it
Cameron:

More than ever, seems like never's what you get//
Battling guerilla forces like the Offensive of Tet//

Cameron: cont, y/n?
Cameron:

when asked to continue, given options yes or no//
which will the one he chooses? i guess we'll be forced to ask beau//

Beau: hahaha.
Beau: y.
Beau:

guerilla or gorilla//
i'm the teenage lady-killa//
named after bobo the first//
time stops while i spit a verse//
it's a curse, i know//
when you get torn apart by my flow//
like a chimp or an ape i'll go toe to opposable-toe//

Cameron:

monkey man on the mic means more money//
his rhyme-style: delight, his devilition: funny//
enter the tummy, of the black and blue ape man's abyss//
you'll find only filet mignon, expensive wines and Criss//

Beau: oh shiz. that was like. internal organ rap haha.
Cameron: of course, magic school bus episode-style
Beau: yes.
Beau: cheesy poofs.
Cameron:

it's getting darker we're venturing deeper, into Project Neeper//
a name given by the government to this excercise of intelligent speakers//
Cigarette Smoking Man holds all the answers//
he steals the science of the scientists, he takes the finds of the advancers//

Beau:

exhale these rhymes like fine-grain tobacco//
there are those who might say that for rhyming we're whacko//
conspiracy theorists write dramas unbidden//
while black ninja rhyme operatives choose to remain hidden//

Cameron: :-)
Cameron: oh shit
Cameron: dopeness
Beau: rule #1: never use whacko in a rhyme.
Beau: ever.
Cameron: still, las 2 were sickness
Cameron:

it is de-facto, beau is killin da track-doh (track, though)//
he's including whacko, he forgot that Michael Jackson is Jacko//
in the tabloids that they sell at the supermarket//
marketed to people who attempt to bargain at Target(tm)//

Beau: hahhaa nice.
Beau:

target, got the bullseye logo//
that's the picture i paint on the backs of my foes//
got treble for highs and bass for the lows//
don't wear a fro but i rock the collar-up style//
run a fool down to the last rhyme-mile//
causin' trouble, ruckus, destruction//
that is my rhyme's essential function//

Cameron:

Target the government workers in Colorado with a shadow//
Democratic, Enigmatic with the slogan Democrato//
bring down their samurai honor to that of a midget marathonner//

Beau: haha w00t
Cameron: ok i messed up sorry, all of my thought went into the last line haha
Cameron:

when asked to give the demographics of rap tactics//
i often fantasize about arts, music and theatrics//
lives of plastic, while im gettin my ass kicked//
when can i get just one idea realized and stick?//

Beau: haha nice, i like that one
Beau:

plastic tactics, resilient rubber flows//
quick, take a picture while cam strikes a pose//
our bouncin' beats add to your defeat//
kill a vegeterian cuz you know we eat meat//
filet mignon, venison style chops//
we don't stop rhyming even when running from the cops//

Beau: i like how i just killed a vegeterian for no reason hahaha.
Cameron: ahaha
Cameron:

"Yo look behind 'ya, cops hot on our trail"//
"How are you, Beau G, gonna pay for bail?"//
"Cam, you know, we'll keep runnin//
we must stop the samurai mafia from comin"//
"Ok beau g, I like your plan that you've devised"//
"lets hope we can meet up later, outta the bars, out on the OUTSIDE" (of prison)//

---

Cameron:

we hoppin on this girl, a.k.a. Biggulsworth//
keep her smilin make her happy then she'll take off her skirt//

Cameron: CONTINUE Y/N?
Beau: y
Beau:

Biggulsworth got the big'uns//
you know she hops around for fun//
boobies swaying this way and that//
taking off her shirt at the drop of a hat.

Cameron:

she's a high class whore, 100% class//
face of plastic, body shaped by weights and gymnastics//
her classic face lines prick ya eyes like porcupines//
out-brightin' the tide and makin ya face turn petrified//

Beau: hahah that owns
Cameron:

breakin down the doorway, im in control makin this go mine-not your-way//
this isn't BK, burger king ain't the thing//
you serve me while my head phone goes off, RING RING//

Beau:

oh shit//
fast food rap tactics//
open up your burger and hope you don't find prophylactics//
i'm the head line cook//
and i don't speak english//
when the manager's not looking//
i might spit in your sandiwch//
paid minimum wage, my boredom's off the page//
i'll jizz in your ice cream//
to prevent feeling rage//
us fast food workers have got feelings too//
and alan greenspan is still a jew

Beau: BOOYAH. ;-)
Cameron: BAM!
Cameron:

changin the anti message-contra-//
on foot i can spank a hyundai elantra//
the theme and scheme of things morphs to alan greenspan's blingbling//
slappin ho's wit his Rolex wristwatch, tennis bracelet and rings//
rump-bumpin, he's techno-rave beat pumpin//
watch out for the olympics, Alan Greenspan is gold medal winner of high jumpin//

Cameron:

LOOK its a bird! LOOK its a plane//
nope thats jus Alan Greenspan on the big screen, Hollywood, enjoying fame//
he's number one action star, move over Arnold//
climbin up the movie charts sellin tickets, dont be startled//
big beefy man muscles, solvin economic puzzles//
you're jus a player in the game that Greenspan rapes, he hustles//

---

Cameron:

w00t w00t muthafucka with the tenshi blade//
my dogs in a videogame its the benji arcade//
keep feelin my flows, my low blows knockin ya off ya toes//
who's the real mc killin it? im not an average joe//

Cameron: continue? Y/N
Beau: y
Beau:

i could shrug off dig dug//
give a mantra to contra//
luigi's mom is easy//
king kong got it wrong .. this is arcade rap, we got the b33p b00p skills//
gotta scrounge for quarters//
cuz high scores don't pay bills//

Cameron:

bo-bo monkey style he's snortin cocaine in the videogame//
my mega-cable gaming bandwidth is floodin ya mainframe//
the data transfer of the banister makin me have to dump her, in the garbage dumpster//
playin this joystick so skillfully, playin Mario Brothers and Jumpster//

Beau:

oh shit, bionic commando style//
makin' that quarter go the extra mile//
joystick technique got me pegged as a freak//
these rhymes and flows will make your brain leak//
i got 8 bit, 16, 32//
and you're hiding in the corner cuz i wanna battle you//
gold-plate controller, my face reflected//
the look on your face after i win: dejected//

Cameron:

the quarter pumping machine humping goes on unabated//
its been seven years and eighteen months since the arcade junkie has last dated//
his room: x rated, his mom's conscience: irritated//
living at home at 28 is sad, his home dilapidated//

Cameron:

continuing the story, playing Bruce Lee Kung Fu Fighter//
the kicks and punches so quick, this karate thriller is a delighter//
the time is 4 am, a few hours left//
late night arcade heads standing up, hacking the codec//
their manifesto: to keep playing for life//
to never leave the arcade and never meet a wife//

Cameron: i like yours more
Cameron: the bionic commando reference = killer
Beau: haha never meet a wife
Cameron: this flow is depressing now :-(
Beau: haha yea.
Cameron: lets make these arcade heads have lives now
Cameron: or something
Cameron: if you have time/resources, continue plzthx :-)
Cameron:

the bionic commando man, flyin in private jet with Marlon Brando's hand//
a new game at its birth? what will is be called//
maybe something about how Marlon is overweight, ugly and bald//

Beau:

oh shit, what's this?//
arcade dudes living in bliss//
don't have to move//
or get up to take a piss//
they got the virtual reality styles//
in the game you could run for miles//
without getting tired//
you could call these guys wiired//
cuz they got, neural shunts//
stickin' outta they heads//
is this life they livin', or are these hax0rs dead?

Beau: unf that sucked.
Cameron: i dont think it sucked
Cameron: i like the neural reference, hax0r reference, whole last line (heads/dead) is killer too
Beau: my friend just registered www.pixill.com for his elite 3d art shiz
Beau: pixill = elite play on ju0rds
Cameron:

pixill = elite play on ju0rd//
slayin the african warlock lords with vegatable gourds//
runnin 'em over with Fords and escapin the evil rapin of extraterrestrial wars//

Beau:

gourds make nice acoustic instruments//
we got the accoutrements//
to keep you feelin this//
whack lackadaiscal rhyme style//
go mile for mile//
with anyone while i buck-wile//

Cameron:

jumpin hollywood hills, to make fire we rub together bills//
money burning at an incredible rate//
we'll talk to greenspan, he give us some money to incinerate//

Beau: oh shit you just threw in GREENSPAN.
Cameron: hell ya he's my favorite
Cameron: i dig him more than women, man.
Beau:

rollin with al green and alan greenspan//
let's stay together while we watch C-SPAN//
funk legend or head of the fed//
sampled by rappin' 4-tay or a curmudgeon without hair on his head//
we rock with em both//
cuz if you don't//
it's like having butter without the toast//

Beau: OH SHIT.
Beau: let's stay togethAR = al green song.
Beau: the one sampled by run d.m.c. & jagged edge.
Cameron: oh damn
Cameron: that was killer, sir
Cameron: best rhyme yet?
Cameron: i think so
Beau: hahaha.
Beau: i like how the best rhyme was half about greenspan. ;-)
Cameron: ya dude, he's my hero
Cameron: www.alangreenspanismyhero.com
Cameron:

the discussion is bustin', alan greenspan equals my hero//
he plays both sides-the government, the mafia-like robert deniro//
his underground connections, with italians and russians alike//
allow him to shame the game and psyche out even the most gangster of types//

Beau: hahah that rocks
Beau:

alan green', a mean dance machine//
he knows where it's at and he's got the moves for the feems//
spinning on his head while he's setting interest rates//
if he fucks up his rotation the entire market might deflate//
you've seen him poplocking and doing the do//
that alan greenspan is one rocking jew//
some cats are tryna' make a dollar out of fifteen cents//
but alan is the man when it comes to setting percents//

Cameron: oh SHIT
Cameron: DOPE!
Cameron: lol
Cameron: rofl
Cameron: i was laughing so hard when i read that lol
Beau: he really is a jew too, i looked it up
Cameron: i know
Beau: i was like.. oh shit.. if he was jewish.. that would make the best rhyme
Cameron: lol ya hahah
Beau: so was like "beep boop google alan greenspan jewish" and it was like, "yes beau, he is jewish, please complete your rhyme now"
Cameron: ahahaha
Cameron: rofl
Beau: we are freestyle warriors on the path to righteousness
Cameron:

corporate corruption, running the government from his cup of suction//
what he wants next in the rates is a reduction//
watch the numbers, he'll cut 'em up like cucumbers//
balancing corporate payouts from martha stewart, and Enron-exec death-jumpers//

Beau:

we're cookin' books like arthur//
knockin' rhyme arrows like an archer//
fifth amendment for the crooks//
judges give 'em dirty looks//
gonna throw em the book?//
or get off scot-free//
we'll see//
do rich white dudes go to regular jails?//
or jump bail and set sail//
for the caymans//
in laymans//
terms, that is, we got corruption//
destruction//
the system is in//
disarray//
we're here to set the record//
straight, we equate//
rich white dudes//
with waste//
... expedite that//
post-haste

Beau: jittery-line style.
Cameron:

it's a rotation of the rates of the nation//
watchin central news network for news on my most important corporation//
you know I got Johnny Cochrane giving me the whole story//
he's a lawyer-newscaster, no lies, no allegories//

Beau: haha w00t!
Cameron: i wike your las one most
Cameron: i think it wins
Cameron: beats your Jew reference one
Beau: hahaha
Beau: ownage.
Cameron:

global conspiracies, toxic contamination in our trees//
the illuminati, controlin' the world we live in through Freemasonry//
what i see of the world, what i taste of it: sour//
why cant we get a piece of our own worldwide power?//

Cameron: tight tight killa whale style
Beau: aye we rhymin like orcas off orcas island, buck-wilin'?
Cameron:

buckaroo-buck-stucco... eatin away at'cha walls like apocalyptic lichen//
walls closin in quickly, wait til it tightens//

Beau:

barnacle buckshot is the upshot//
underwater burst hitcha in the left dorsal fin//
underwater mammals catch a blood clot//
cuz saltwater rhymin's about to begin

Cameron:

take a trip under our hip hop ocean//
words working together, got you under the control of a potion//
verbal emotions exposed, your mind will be sold//
into our boroughs of slavery, levels of pain are untold//

Beau:

you're taking water on starboard//
rhymes got you bailin'//
this ain't no safe harbor//
your tactics are failin'

Cameron:

so stop the van halen, rhymes all thinned out and soft//
seawater is fulla salt, your rhymes are full of SHIT

Cameron: oh wait that doesnt rhyme?
Cameron: haha whoops
Cameron: remix
Cameron: our rhymes emaciatingly vile//
Beau: get bit by a saltwater crocodile//
Cameron:

run the sea mile, 1.05 times the normal one you run//
your legs hit hard, not movin, like you been hit wit a stun gun//

Beau:

you think this shit is fun?//
saltwater fiends know what i mean//
these rhymes weigh a ton//
drive my vessel with an ocean gangster lean//

Cameron:

mixin water estuary, New Orleans//
using terminology from geology class, words is clean//
deal with the word fiends, makin ya scream-//
"WE ALL WANT TO HEAR THIS CRAZY TRACK THATS ALL ABOUT THE SEA!"

Beau: haha that's hardcore
Cameron: i like your ocean gangster lean
Cameron: that = HC tambien
Cameron: continue we shall?
Beau: aye dude that's straight up willy devaughn style
Cameron: who = that?
Beau:

diamond in the back//
sunroof top//
digging the scene with a ganster lean = william devaughn

Cameron: he = rappar?
Cameron: or othar lyricisy
Beau: nah.. more of a funk/soul dude
Cameron:

giant join pirates, makin violence//
excited to break the 1000 year silence, with jars of word science//

Cameron:

hear the sea lions//
those are the creatures that we spyin//

Cameron:

they killin the fish, the scaly animals dyin//
you say you havent seen em? we ain't lyin'../

Beau:

word-stylin excess contributes to our success//
we got life preservers//
for emergency egress under duress//
don't catch a baleen maw to the chest//

Beau:

we hail from the home of the killer whale//
rhymes got you wet//
got you locked up in our corral reef jail//
you know the only way you gonna make bail is with a pail and some fast arm motion//
stop killin' sealife for the cosmetic lotion//

Cameron:

baleen flows, keepin the whale style well fed//
filtering the mad gangster paste through teeth, visit to club med//
blue paradise engulfs the scene, foiling the scheme//
what better day to feed in peace, and then pimp some hottie whale feems?//

Beau:

i got a school of hottie orcas tryn'a hop on my dork//
we don't count power in ponies we do it with seahorse torque//

Cameron: omfg
Cameron: you own.
Cameron: ok
Cameron: hard to follow that mastery up
Beau: hahah w00t
Cameron:

bo bo named after a monkey, discussing whales//
he caught up in other aminals, tryin to get tail//
his lyrical mushroom clouds eatin ya up with radiation//
can't touch the sealife though, for that you need some patience//

Beau:

cam putting down whalerap like only he can//
sailing with feems is the plan he commands//
a mansion and a yacht ain't enough//
he needs an underwater resort to go with his ocean tan//

Cameron:

copa cabana style flows, coconut groves//
dealin wit us is slow, like how a steamboat goes//
with the tropical lotions, lyrical scientifical potions, you're Finnish and poor like a Po-Finn//

Cameron: lotion-po-finn?
Cameron: idk if it works
Cameron: haha im dumb.com
Beau: haha w00t
Beau: that is hardcore
Cameron: rofl, ya real DEEP huh
Cameron: ha
Beau: ;-)
Cameron:

50,000 leagues, under the sea//
good luck-no chance if you tryin to catch me//
have fun dealing with the tonnage water pressures//
the only thing you'll see outta me is a lude finger gesture//

Beau: haha that owns.
Beau:

most suits crumple//
at the depths we entertain//
what can i say?//
we got water on the brain

Cameron:

the underwater mileage cripplin your thoughts//
you cant even make it to our depths with the shit that you bought//
submersibles implode, breakin even ya network node//
dont try to reach our level of depth, dont even try to break our code//

Beau:

we got puffer fish protectors//
and swingin' swordfish lechers//
we got minnows at the windows//
and crabs playin' nintendo//
we got reef fish and shrimp//
and sharks that hang limp//

Cameron:

later i'll show you who the REAL lyrical geneticist is//
but now its time for me to go, i gotta go play TENNIS//

---

Cameron:

like the seven hills of Rome//
hip hop is what Cameron calls home//
keep the words morphin, rhymes comin hard like a stone//

Beau:

come up in my town you might get stoned//
my skills, they're honed//
tell it to your face or you knee caps, my rhymes break bones//

Cameron:

Bo-Bo cuttin it hard like woodshop class//
when it comes to zap-flash rhymin, no one is nearly as fast//
he's number one on the Ho-train, number Two with the women//
number three in the Zoo, gettin dirty while rhymin wit a Gibbon//

Cameron: yo thats pretty deep, rhyming with Serengeti aminals
Cameron: i think that like the Valhalla of hip hop
Cameron: bustin flow with like, monkeys and shit
Cameron: and being really baked
Beau: ahahaha nice.
Cameron: yo thats your new goal for life
Cameron: got that?
Cameron: your goal is not to have a family/be a breadwinner
Cameron: buy a boat
Cameron: etc
Cameron: you need to get high
Cameron: in the himalayas
Beau:

we got monkeys and zebras up in the place//
yo it's a race, my fist to your face//
caribou 4-track recording style//
it's been a while but my rhymes still got bite like mace//

Cameron: with animals
Cameron: yes!
Cameron: save up some money
Cameron: and take a flight there
Cameron: but, will animals just, be there?
Cameron: or will you have to be like a zookeeper
Cameron: and smoke out your heavy gorillas
Beau: nah, i'll smoke out gorillas and chinchillas all the while, perhaps even a crocodile :P
Beau: i was named after bobo the gorilla who used to live at the woodland park z0o :P
Cameron: are you fa real
Cameron: oh shit, you SIR are the chosen one
Beau: hahaha yes for real
Cameron: so
Cameron: your name is, Bobo
Beau: bobo the animal trainer.
Beau: stain detective tech is the choice if your clothes are a wreck.
Cameron: my dirt devils infect, the truth is dirt comes from your sweaty neck
Cameron: i like yours
Beau: w00t
Cameron: any rhyme with "tech" is automatically cool

---

Cameron:

i'mma hit you up like with the electron like lightning//
it's refuted, the data is heavily polluted

Cameron:

your rhymes fight dirty like a prehistoric stegasourus//
obviously you can't keep the beat steady, you weren't made for it//

---

Cameron: hey lets battle yo
Beau:

rhyming and desigining like hurley or hilfiger, you'll get cut the fuck off by my hair-trigger reflexes// perplexing you, i'm facetious, you couldn't reach these heights if you tried// beat this - never, your clothes - pleather, your world - nether// rhymed you out of existence, back to a netherworld ruled by wack mcs with no style and grace, step back with haste/ knock the taste out 'ya mouth.. too lazy to write any more.

Cameron:

looks like here brewing is a battle//
soon you bousta be drowned on tha other side of the lake from seattle//
I'll split ya head like chemists split atoms//
I created the world you live in with Eve and Adam//
you say you facetious?//
you're looking like a maggot talking shit I'M THE LYRICAL JESUS//
you're got diseases that I don't want to culture in my blood lab//
keep the fuck away from my sword and my gun-you wont be stabbed//
by my sock knife-you better pray dear lord for your life//
keep comin keep goin you dont have time to be alive//
step up at the bellevue rhymin festival we gonna cut off ya testicals//
lets end this flow healthful with a bag o vegatables//
Whether you say tamale or you say tam-il-lie//
I'm bousta come to ya house an murder ya whole family//

---

Cameron:

i know in all seriousness, you're a joker//
i can tell ya lyin face like you is playin poker//

Beau:

i rock rhymes like card games//
shit kid your rhymes is lame like 52 pick up//
eat a dick up//

---

Cameron:

i invade like a stellar star field of locusts//
your vision is blurred and marred, you out of focus//