the phaelic lexicon

   I'm sure, having visited the site quite frequently, you realize that there are differences between how people at Fakepope speak and how the rest of the world speaks. Here is a semi-conclusive guide to understanding a conversation with any Fakepope associate.

1. Pronouns:
   
      Fakepope, in order to provide quicker information relays to one another often use pronouns that may not be clear or even in context. Here is an example:
   
   Beau: "Joe, pass me the wang."
   
      In this sentence Beau is obviously explaining to Joe that he wants to see the "X" that he is holding. It doesn't have to be a wang... (FPUCBDLPHN). This could mean anything Joe happened to be holding at that particular time, although it is not conclusive what Beau was requesting. The use of verbs to further this conversation might help.
   
   
2. Verbs:
   
      Fakepope, in order to put a more comical spin on life often use vulgar or disrespectful verbs to quicken both mental reflexes, wit, and humor. Using the same example as before we will throw in a verb:
   
   Beau: "Joe, pass me the wang so I can grudge fuck it."
   
      This example becomes a little clearer with the addition of a manipulation verb. It is obviously something that can be used, i.e. an instrument or some sort of bomb defusing device. Often more verbs are used to make the sentence much clearer.
   
   Beau: "Joe, pass me the wang so I can grudge fuck it and finger bang its grandpa."
   
      This example not only shows that two verbs can be used in one sentence but it sets us up for Figures of Speech.
   
   
3. Figures of Speech:
   
      There are far too many figures of speech to list them all or all of their uses, but you must understand that they are simply 'figures' of speech and not to be taken literally. In the above example 'finger bang its grandpa' was used. This was not meant to convey that Beau want to finger bang an inanimate objects grandfather, but was put there to convey both a sense of seriousness in the request and as an attention grabber.
   
   
4. Conclusive Words:
   
      At Fakepope there are very few, but important words that are tacked on to any complete sentence. This example should go without explanation:
   
   Beau: "Joe, pass me the wang so I can grudge fuck it and finger bang its grandpa, BIATCH!"
   
      Beau used the word 'biatch' at the end of his sentence to tell Joe that he was finished with his request. So obviously from this final example we can assume that Beau wanted Joe to give him the camera to take a picture of a rare duck-billed platypus. That wasn't so hard now, was it?
   
      Of course you can't learn all the twists of the Phaelic language, as it's formally called. The easiest way is to leech on to a Fakepope associate until you can both speak and fluently understand their mannerisms, and have sex with them, if you're a hot chick.
   
   
5. Responses:
   
      Responses vary with each question, sometimes they are answered with another question or with an exclamation. Using the existing example, one response from Joe might be:
   
   Joe: "Hateful, we should rock its ass with some sugar glass."
   
      The obvious translation is that Joe would like to feed the platypus so that it can be photographed closer to them. Another response could have easily had been:
   
   Joe: "Dude, go fuck a jerk chain, I am rocking the bong like Mao Ze Dong, ass rapist!"
   
      This translates roughly into, "Not right now, I'm fixing the telescopic lens to take a picture of that rare Australian Finch, it's endangered, you know?
   
   
6. Exclamations:
   
      These are not necessarily words but more sounds followed by violent hand motions. These differ from response so it is impossible to discern an exclamation by itself without the help of the context before it.
   
   
7. Blaxploitation Exclamations:
   
      These exclamations come right from 70's Blaxploitation movies and are said in mostly an Isaac Hayesish voice. A quick example is:
   
   Joe: "SHAFOW!"

   Now that you know the basics of Phaelic, it's important you brush up on each associate's figures of speech and dialect, because they do differ from associate to associate.

Joe:

Phaelic:	English:
"That fucks my ass."	"Oh my goodness!"
"Dude, let's hate"	"What do you want to do?"
"We fucking own."	"I had fun, did you?"
"Rock."	"Alright!"
"Ah... Neil."	"Ah... Neil, come on, what are you fucking thinking? Go take a breather."
"Bengtch."	"Bitch."
"Dude, Tower."	"Let's go spend three hours in Tower Records looking at every single CD and magazine we looked at the day before."
"Hate."	"Sounds good."
"I need a breather."	"We need to go smoke copious amounts of drugs."
"Wangs."	"Fuck yeah."
"Bongs."	"Totally."
"Dillyquantassafluoricide."	"Dillyquantassafluoricide."
"DAMN!"	"Holy shit, I can't believe it, what the fuck it going on, oh no, I am going to kill myself."
"Rock out."	"Let's go before their boyfriends kick our asses."
"Wangs out."	"This party sucks, I wish I would have stayed home and finger-banged my grandpa."